Hi Peter,
The OnSendMessageResult and OnSendMessageResultUpdate events are only called for messages sent from the same Visual Basic.Net script. I understand that you send the messages from an SQL Connector, if that is the case the message result is used to update the MessageLog table (if you have set up a MessageLog table). You don't have to manually update the records with a script. If you really have to use the script to manipulate the database then you also should use the script to retrieve and send the messages from the database.
In the SMS system there is no secure way to link a received SMS message to a previously sent message. The only way is to link the received message to the last sent message with the same mobile number but this does not positively mean that it is indeed a reply.
Regards, Henk